TO SANTA or NOT TO SANTA…THAT IS THE QUESTION! December 11, 2010

But the ANSWER?     Well, that is not NEARLY as simple!

It’s a very personal decision. And a very difficult decision, in some cases.

But it is OUR DECISION TO MAKE…prayerfully and responsibly.  And, regardless of what some might insist, traditions like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, DO NOT PRECLUDE teaching our children the TRUTH of our faith, of Christ, and of the meaning of Christmas.

There are fundamental truths to our faith that cannot be compromised, diluted, or marginalized. But then there are traditions…personal choices of what/how to celebrate certain days or ideas or activities…that, when handled properly and responsibly and not allowed to become idolized, can ENHANCE your children’s experiences, joyful celebrations, and understanding of the principles of your faith, not NEGATE them.

I believe every parent has the ability, and the RESPONSIBILTY, to make sure that “Santa” does not come from/lead to “Satan” and his never-ending attempt to make God irrelevant in our society. You may not agree, and I wholly accept and respect that. Please show me that same respect, and do not put a stumbling block before my children because you have made a different decision for your family.

This is a very good article that is honest, objective, and gives healthy perspective to this controversial subject.

http://www.familiesonlinemagazine.com/christian-parenting/christian-santa.html

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It’s bad enough when those who do not hold a biblical, Christ-centered faith are prejudice against those of us that try to live a life that honors our faith and our God. But it make me sad when those WITHIN the body of Christ judge and demonize EACH OTHER because of differences in tradition that DO NOT jeopardize, minimize or lead astray from the fundamental, soul-saving tenants of our faith!   I truly believe that it is a self-righteousness that allows some to feel like a “superior Christian” by justifying their egotistical, prideful attempts to make others feel inferior. 

Am I saying that a Christian who prayerfully and thoughtfully decides against celebrating the tradition of Santa Claus as part of their Christmas celebration is “self-righteous” and “prideful”?  NO, OF COURSE NOT!

 

But when any brother or sister in Christ disrespects a decision that you make for your family, disregarding your God-granted autonomy over your children, and/or forces their beliefs on your children through bullying and implying shame and inferiority of faith, THAT is sinful self-righteousness, and is NOT of God!

Yes, this certainly is a tough issue!  Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy…these are all imaginary parts of childhood that necessitate parents lying to their children! Doesn’t exactly sound like good Christian values, does it?

And, CAN some of these figures and traditions steal the importance away from the true meaning of important Christian holidays that are ESSENTIAL to the faith? ABSOLUTELY! Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny…YES, they CAN lead to a dilution of the very solemn, awe-inspiring truth of what Christ did for us in his incarnation and his resurrection, and everything in between! But it doesn’t HAVE to!

I wonder…

• Do these same Christian parents choose to live in meager homes, forfeit any and all luxury, and consistently resist the desire to give their children unnecessary toys, designer boots, or an HD flat screen TV, all in the name of ensuring that they do not grow to be materialistic?
• Do these same Christian parents choose to never complement their children or reward them for accomplishments, all in order to make sure they do not become prideful?
• Do these same Christian parents never allow their children to play dress-up as children, or never join them in a game of make-believe pirates or princess tea parties or cowboys and indians, or never visit Mickey Mouse or Cinderella at Disney, for fear that it teaches their children that it is acceptable to pretend, or “LIE”?

I suspect that most parents are able to balance the truths and morals of a Christian life with the joys of a magical time in our children’s lives, when their imagination allows for beautiful memories and their innocence allows for the appreciation and enjoyment of certain material blessings.

But, yes, this is all part of the struggle that we, as Christian parents, have to navigate through ALL THE TIME!  We want to be generous and bless our children, but we don’t want to raise them to be materialistic and irresponsible stewards; we want our children to be forgiving and gentle, yet to still know how to defend themselves from those that mean to harm them; we want them to avoid being  judgemental, yet know “right” and “wrong”; we want them to understand, accept and express their feelings, without giving SO MUCH credence to them that their feelings become idols and our children fall victim to fickle, potentially misleading emotions instead of TRUTH.  Yes, we Christian parents know ALL TOO WELL the dangerously fine lines that we traverse EVERY DAY in trying to raise children who love themselves, love others, and love God.  Without God’s grace and mercy every day, we would be completely incapable of teaching our children ANYTHING about a complicated life that WE can barely balance, and a mind-boggling God that WE ourselves are unable to fully understand and appreciate! 

Yes, it’s hard! And, yes, we make mistakes!  But, yes, we try our best to raise each of our families in a way that honors God; and so, as we travel along this difficult minefield of parenthood, I hope that my fellow brothers and sisters will PRAY for me, ENCOURAGE me, and GROW with me…but DO NOT JUDGE me!!!

To Santa or Not To Santa???  Every parent has to decide if/how these ideas and figures fit into their own family, their own traditions, and their own faith. 

Do your research. Read your Bible. Pray. And decide what is right for your family.  And then, please, MIND YOUR OWN DARN BUSINESS! You mind your house; I will mind mine!

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If you would like to share your own personal thoughts or experiences on this subject, I welcome you to share them. But, just remember that I reserve the right to DELETE YOUR ASS if you try to pull any of that self-righteous, inflammatory, holier-than-thou nonsense on my watch!!!

Nickelodeon…GET BEHIND ME! December 7, 2010

I literally almost broke my laptop and my leg earlier this evening, launching myself across the couch in a desperate frenzy to find the remote and turn off the TV as a commercial with a teen girl sitting on a young “Santa’s” lap MAKING OUT WITH HIM, followed by half naked teen boys bodies, and a bunch more inappropriate images for 7pm during Spongebob ASSAULTED my family! ARE YOU KIDDING ME, NICKELODEON???

I never thought I would be “that mother”…I came from a strict, very religious Catholic home, and sometimes in my youth resented it and certainly as a young adult REBELLED from it. But I refuse to any longer buy into the CRAP that you can’t shelter your kids from everything. Maybe you can’t, BUT I WILLED BE DAMNED [LITERALLY!] IF I DON’T TRY!!!

They are our babies! They are our greatest gift and our most important responsibility! They are the only thing in our everyday, busy lives that, in 50 years, will mean ANYTHING! They are pure and innocent and precious and we let our society RAPE THEM OF THEIR MAGICAL CHILDHOOD with what we allow them to watch and listen to! Have we no sense, no courage, NO SOUL? Collectively, as parents, we need to STAND UP AND FIGHT FOR OUR CHILDREN! It is a constant desensitization of their morality and their souls that starts happening at SUCH an early age that it convolutes any bit morality and values trying to be taught in the home, and actually alienates and marginalizes families who attempt to protect their children from such trash.

I don’t exactly know how to do it, short of next time THROWING my laptop at the TV instead of toppling over it, but I have to stop this madness! There is a verse in the Bible that tells us that we are called to be from the world, but not OF… the world [help me out here my wise Christian friends]. We cannot be SO isolated and different that we make ourselves IRRELEVANT in our world. But don’t be fooled into forfeiting reason and righteousness in fear of what society [and our families, and friends, and co-workers] think. WE MUST BE VIGILENT! And we MUST realize the insanity that is being portrayed, legitimized, and romanticized on programming mistakingly promoted as “FAMILY TV”!!!

I realize it will be a fight…even within my own four walls…but how can I NOT try to protect my precious daughter from the filth that LIES to her everyday that she “has” to use certain language, or wear certain clothes, or dance a certain way, or have a certain kind of relationship with the opposite sex in order to be likable or accepted?!?!? I am not some radical conservative Christian who doesn’t have a grasp on reality…in fact, it is quite the exact opposite. I DO know the reality…all too well, I’m ashamed to say…of believing the LIE, of chasing after that LIE, and of forfeiting everything, including my dignity and everything that is right and good in this world, in pursuit of that corrupted sense of worth and love. So am I going to do EVERYTHING IN MY POWER to teach my daughter that she is better than that…that she does NOT have to buy into that fantasy, that it is NOT the TRUTH of who we are cr  eated to be, and that it will NOT fulfill her with the love and acceptance that she craves??? HELL, YES!!!

NICKELODEON…..GET BEHIND ME!!!!!!

Therapy for the soul, prozac for the mind… November 7, 2009

A couple of weeks ago, I went on a weekend getaway, sans hubby and girly, and cannot tell you how completely renewed I felt. No, I didn’t have a spa weekend of massages and mud baths, or a wild “…stays in Vegas” romp, but actually a quiet, productive, bonding weekend with my dearest friend, who is expecting her first child in the spring. We stayed up until all hours of the evening talking; the strongest drink that passed our lips was a tart raspberry lemonade; and the only bar whose threshold we crossed was for a meeting at the historic hotel where we arranged to host her baby shower.  Not exactly the kind of weekend that my best friend of 15 years and I USED to indulge in back in the day, before wedding bands, stretch marks and diaper genies!  But what a priviledge it has been to grow into our new roles as wives and moms…TOGETHER!

I came home feeling “whole” again. And it made me wonder…How is it possible that we women can be everything to everyone – wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, employees/employers, PTO moms, soccer coaches, hockey moms – yet we can still often feel alone, unappreciated, and empty?  Maybe it’s precisely BECAUSE of all of those things!

Alone? Absolutely! We are constantly surrounded by runny noses at our feet, petty co-workers at the office and grouchy cashiers at the grocery store. But do we really “CONNECT” with people, on a real level, where someone doesn’t need something from you except just for you to be yourself?

Unappreciated? Obviously!  We are nurses, nannies, teachers, cooks, maids, gardeners…and that’s all before lunch!  There is no pay, no commission, no chance of promotion, and certainly no sick time off!  Although every Mom out there will admit that there certainly are “benefits” that cannot be measured by stock options or window offices, there are few instances in the everyday life of a Mom that she feels worthy and appreciated for who she is, instead of what she does!

And empty? Yeah, sometimes.  We often find ourselves low on energy, with not enough time and with dwindling checking accounts.  But that’s not the “empty” that really leaves our souls drained. Those are just circumstances, temporary sacrifices that are a normal part of raising a family. It’s the emptiness that results from our loss of personal identity, our visions of ourselves outside of the roles that we play, that really leaves a deep void.  We can have attentive husbands, wonderful children, and a strong faith in our identity as God’s children…but without the opportunity to look at ourselves in the honest mirror of our most precious and true girlfriends, we can find ourselves lost in our roles. And, worse yet, we likely start believing the lies that we are what we do, our self-worth is based on our worth to others, and that the only value we offer is in what we bake, how we manage our homes and our desks, and how satisfied our husbands are.

I live a happy life…I have a good husband, a beautiful, smart daughter, and a strong family.  So why does it take time spent with my best friend to “complete me”?  Maybe it is because…

…She is a soul mate.

I suspect there are a few gasps out there, and if my better half is reading this, maybe even some ruffled feathers. But I don’t believe there is anything perverse or unnatural in admitting this.  She and I have been through it all…from out of control parties to being there by each other’s sides at our very lowest points. We know all there is to know about each other. We do not judge each other’s failures, we can be completely transparent with each other, even in our worst moments, and we find a safety in our friendship that transcends lattes and shopping and chick-flicks.  God has given us a precious opportunity to grow together, not just as friends, but as sisters-in-Christ. That bond of sisterhood connects our inner-most beings, allowing us to find an unconditional love in each other that encourages us to be the best that we can be, and supports each other when we fall short in that endeavor.  It is beyond an emotional attachment or a social partnership…she is a soul mate. And that pure, honest, genuine love has more than once taught me about Christ and my relationship with our heavenly Father.

I am somehow different when we are together. I am reminded not only of what God calls me to be in all of my roles, but also that I have worth in who I am, at any given moment, with all of my scars and ugliness and guilt and shortcomings. I don’t have to hide my faults or lie about my circumstances or cover up my past. I can be who I am, and I am loved for exactly that…WHO I AM! 

My husband has also taught me this truth over the years. It was actually so foreign to me at first that I thought he had to be really a masochistic, desperate fool! I mean, it made sense that he wanted to be with me when I was sweet and fun and attractive. But, when the true Joanne – with all of her baggage and wounds and insecurities – started to burst forth and he didn’t run for the hills, I remember thinking “this guy is a stalker!”  It took many years of him modeling unconditional love and acceptance for me to begin to understand that he wasn’t going anywhere, and that he was here because he loved me for who I was-the good, the bad and the ugly.

However, as much as I value the safety of his love and commitment, it admittedly is not exactly the same. Maybe it’s because, although I have tried to learn that his acceptance isn’t based on my performance, it is very difficult to separate your relationship with your spouse from the everyday roles that you perform. I know that he won’t leave me if the house is a mess or if I do not always take care of his physical needs…God knows we have tested that more than once! But our relationship is so interwoven with what we DO for each other, that it is sometimes difficult to feel like my worth is in who I am and not what I do everyday.

It is different with your dearest girlfriend…you aren’t expected to wash her clothes, or have a warm healthy meal on the table, or the house clean, the kids quiet, the pantry full and a sexy bustier waiting for later. Without those everyday roles and contributions, your worth to each other is only based on WHO YOU ARE, NOT WHAT YOU DO!  It is precisely that freedom from all expectations that allows a girlfriend to be a different kind of soul mate than your spouse. 

It is truly life-changing when you have someone who understands you, validates you, and completely lets you be yourself. And it is something that I think has been lost in our society of careers and kids and big homes and soccer games and dance practice. Our friendships have become more shallow. They are based on common interests and mutual activities…and there is nothing necessarily wrong with sharing those parts of our lives. But we are so careful to keep our friends at arm’s length, letting them see our fun-loving and lovely sides, but hiding our deepest struggles and failures, that we lose the amazing intimacy of bearing our souls to each other without fear. It is a loneliness and solitude that we try to ignore by surrounding ourselves with people, activities and material things, but that only strengthens the walls around our souls that we build to keep others from seeing our real selves.

After spending a long weekend with Christina, I came home rejuvinated, loving myself more, feeling more positive about my circumstances, and knowing that I am strong enough to handle what life brings.  I no longer felt alone, I felt appreciated for who I am, and my emptiness was filled up with peace and comfort in my own skin. She is my dose of self-esteem and sanity, rolled up in a beautiful, sensitive, generous, thoughtful best friend. Every one of us needs and deserves that one person who is our rock, our compass, our soul mate, our best girlfriend…it is therapy for the soul, prozac for the mind…

Jo’s a 9/12 Mom October 7, 2009

 

What is a “9/12 Mom”, you ask? 

 

What fundamental principles is this “Mission” – this advancement toward positive change, and this attempt to join together to make a tangible difference in our homes, our society, and our nation – BASED on?

 

*excerpt from Glenn Beck’s http://www.the912project.com/the-912-2/

9/12 – 9 Principles, 12 Values

The 9 Principles

1.	America Is Good.
2.	I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.
	God “The propitious smiles of Heaven can never be expected on a nation that disregards the eternal rules of order and right which Heaven itself has ordained.” from George Washington’s first Inaugural address.
3.	I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.
	Honesty “I hope that I shall always possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider to be the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man.” George Washington
4.	The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.
	Marriage/Family “It is in the love of one’s family only that heartfelt happiness is known. By a law of our nature, we cannot be happy without the endearing connections of a family.” Thomas Jefferson
5.	If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.
	Justice “I deem one of the essential principles of our government… equal and exact justice to all men of whatever state or persuasion, religious or political.” Thomas Jefferson
6.	I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.
	Life, Liberty, & The Pursuit of Happiness “Everyone has a natural right to choose that vocation in life which he thinks most likely to give him comfortable subsistence.” Thomas Jefferson
7.	I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.
	Charity “It is not everyone who asketh that deserveth charity; all however, are worth of the inquiry or the deserving may suffer.” George Washington
8.	It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.
	On your right to disagree “In a free and republican government, you cannot restrain the voice of the multitude; every man will speak as he thinks, or more properly without thinking.” George Washington
9.	The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.
	Who works for whom? “I consider the people who constitute a society or a nation as the source of all authority in that nation.” Thomas Jefferson

 

The 12 Values
* Honesty
* Reverence
* Hope
* Thrift
* Humility
* Charity
* Sincerity
* Moderation
* Hard Work
* Courage
* Personal Responsibility
* Gratitude

  

These are the 9 Principles and 12 Values that The 9/12 Project was founded on.  And these are the priorities and the qualities against which I will begin to judge myself, my family, and my role as a citizen of this once-great country. We can be great again…we just need to get back to basics; govern our homes, our lives and our country with common sense; and live out what we claim to believe.  We have a responsibility to our children to keep intact the legacy of life, liberty, prosperity and integrity that was passed down to OUR generations by our forefathers/mothers.  

 

We are Moms…one of us molds and shapes and lays our nurturing hands on EVERY SINGLE person that had, has or will have any influence and/or power in this world.  Therefore, we have the power, AND THE RESPONSIBILITY, to be a positive, healthy, balanced, moral  influence on our children, our families and our communities.

 

Just step out, in faith, and do the NEXT RIGHT THING. 

 

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

^11″ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

 

God is sovereign, the Creator of all that is good; but He uses His vessels for His good plan. God has made us our nation’s hope; He has charged us with molding our nation’s future.  Will you trust Him and bravely approach His throne with a heart of servitude and expectation? Remember, with God all things are possible!  (Matt 19:26)

M.O.M. – MOM ON A MISSION October 7, 2009

 

My name is Joanne, I live in Western New York, and I have a question for you:

 

ARE YOU A  M.O.M. ?

 

You might be a “Mom”, a “Mommy” or a “Momma”, but…

 

…ARE YOU A  M.O.M. ?

 

This is not meant to be a trick question; nor is it meant to diminish the importance, the preciousness, and the power inherent in having the ultimate priviledge of being referred to by one of those sweet names.

I have had the honor of being a ”Momma” for 5 1/2 years to my sweet, strong, beautiful daughter, Felicia.  But it hasn’t been until the last several months that I have become a M.O.M., a “Mom on a Mission”. 

My “Mission”? It is the same mission that I imagine most Moms have in the depths of their hearts the moment they lay eyes on each of their precious newborns…a mission to raise their children in an environment of love, under the protection of safety, in a nation of freedom, and with a destiny of prosperity.  We want the best for our children, we want them to have every opportunity for a long, healthy life filled with happiness and success. Most of us would do ANYTHING for the good of our children, we would give our very lives to ensure their safety and to promote their success in life. 

 

But what if someone told you that you couldn’t do what you thought was best for your children, couldn’t teach them what you believe to be important, or raise them with the values, traditions and truths that your spiritual faith is founded on?

 

 We live in a society that has subtly been stripping away our rights as parents to make decisions, teach spiritual truths, impose consequences, and instruct our children in a manner that is congruent with our beliefs. It has become politically incorrect to parent our children with the innate authority that has been assigned to us parents by God, our Creator.

 

And I am on a MISSION to take it back!

 

This blog is going to be about many subjects, cover a myriad of different thoughts and issues that may, or possibly may not, be of interest to other Moms.  But, whether addressing matters of the heart; discussing opinions on current events, politics or social issues; or simply sharing fun stories or a yummy recipe, you can be assured of one thing…

 

I am a M.O.M. – a Mom that is on a Mission to take back control of my family.

 

I will no longer be afraid to share my intelligent and insightful opinions because I am “just a Mom”.

I will not be bullied into submitting my natural authority in my home and over my child(ren) to ANYONE, especially not to a government that does not reflect the will of its people.

I will not allow others to judge me as prejudice, insensitive, or a bigot for standing on the truth of

God-breathed scripture in living my life and teaching my child(ren) what our Creator tells us, without question, is righteous and good, and what isn’t righteous and isn’t good.

I will no longer be embarrassed or afraid to correct my child(ren) with appropriate consequences and loving discipline, knowing that sparing them and myself from the immediate discomfort will only lead to further pain and  a future devoid of self-control, condenmed to further compromise our nation’s future and integrity.

I will recognize, celebrate and fulfill my responsibility as a Mom to use the power over my home and my child(ren) that has been granted me for the betterment of my family, my community and my nation, and to the greatest extent possible,

to the LEGACY that is passed on to our children.

 

This is my Mission. I am a “9/12 Mom”* - a Mom who believes in the basic principles that our nation was founded on; on which our country joined together, across all boundaries of race, religion, and political affiliation, and embodied the day after the horrific events of 9/11/2001; and that which I pray will once again BE the United States of America that my daughter will grow up knowing, cherishing and defending.

 

Will you join me?  Will you share in this journey of self-discovery, political/social awareness, and community action? Please understand that you don’t have to attend a town meeting, serve on the PTO, run for office, or march on Washington in order to change the direction our nation is heading [although all those things are worthwhile and admirable activities].  The first place that we ALL need to start in changing the future of our country is right in our backyard…LITERALLY!  The first issues that we need to address, the first changes that need to be made, the first control that needs to be taken back, and the first and GREATEST hope that we can uncover is within our own homes, our own relationships, our own lives, and most of all, in our own children. 

 

We are capable of making our own decisions, raising our own children, and taking PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY over our OWN LIVES, and we must DEMAND that our government protects our freedom to do so.

 

I’m taking back control over my family. I hope you will join me on this MISSION…together we can not only “take back” our families, but our entire NATION.

 

 

* Learn more about the Glenn Beck: 9/12 Project at http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/23011/    or

http://www.the912project.com/